Simon’s Graves’ Disease
Introduction
Vanity of vanities, saith the Preacher, vanity of vanities; all is
. Ecclesiastes; 1:2
vanity
New sufferers of Graves’ disease I meet through patient support groups
often want to know my history and experiences with the disease, this
page is for them. If you came via another route it probably looks like
self indulgent vanity – perhaps it is.
This page discusses my history with Graves’ disease and is light on other
biographical detail, including my mothers more serious autoimmune
complaints, and the other cases of Graves’ disease and autoimmune disease in my
mothers family. Even if it is the truth, it isn’t the whole truth, or
the best or the worst of the truth, but just an outline.
The Beginning
In my case the disease first presented itself as migraine like
headaches at the age of 17. The first headache I remember was when I
was playing in a chess match one Saturday, fortunately my opponent had
defaulted.
These headaches got steadily more frequent. As a sixth form student
my teachers were becoming concerned, I was often to be seen cradling
my head in my hands rather than adopting a more attentive posture. The
doctors were perplexed, and prescribed paracodeine, which numbed the
pain somewhat whilst I slept the headaches off.
In my first year of University the headaches continued, they were
mainly a problem following exercise, and I eventually
gave up my lunchtime swimming. The University doctor diagnosed
“stress”, and kept the paracodeine supplied.
After 3 years I was often awake for 36 hours at a stretch followed
by crashing out with a headache, I was getting headaches three or four
times a week and taking pain killers and trying to sleep them off
. I was also washing or showering twice a day to keep the sweat
at bay. I started developing minor related problems, an embarassing
rash, put down by the doctor to poor personal hygiene, almost certainly
due to the perpetual sweating.
I’d gained a reputation for eating anything and everything, I
demolished additional packets of biscuits several times daily, and
never gained an ounce. It became something of a family joke.
My work was suffering, looking back on my written work from this
period the spelling and grammar had deteriorated to a level predating
secondary school (fortunately it was a Maths degree), one of my
lecturers asked if I was dyslexic, another raised concerns that I
wasn’t progressing as they expected someone with my qualifications to
do.
Curiously my social life bloomed, being awake all through the night
as a student meant parties, and I needed a couple of pints in me just
to stop me shaking.
The doctors still told me I had stress, and of course this was my
final year – so it was worse stress. I just concluded that they would
never take me seriously, and that I was going to die young of something
undiagnosed.
Losing Weight at Christmas
November 1990, after I graduated (just), I started to lose weight. I
was still eating everything in sight, and the weight loss was moderate.
Christmas that year I stayed at my girlfriends parents. I lost a
half a stone (7 pounds) in weight Christmas week, despite the very
geneorus portions, and seconds, and thirds. The diarrhea was now a
major symptom, and the sweating was continuous.
Realising I was in a serious way, I went to the doctor’s local to my
girlfriend’s parents. The half mile downhill walk left me weak, and I
had to stop halfway, and get a lift back after the appointment.
I saw yet another doctor, who still failed to make the diagnosis,
and prescribed a course of antibiotics?!
A month later, three stone (42 pound) lighter than I started out, I
saw my original family GP who I had previously seen as a kid for
inoculations. He finally ordered a thyroid function test, although even
he still suspected IBS. I fainted for the first and only time in my
life, in front of my sister who worked as a receptionist at the
surgery, whilst waiting to make an appointment to get the blood test
results.
Within 3 days of starting the antithyroid drug Carbimazole, the
headaches were gone, and I felt alive again. I was stunned
at how good not being poisoned by your thyroid (thyrotoxicosis) felt.
Carbimazole – NHS drug of choice
The GP who finally ordered the thyroid function tests, and diagnosed
me, also proved adept at managing the antithyroid drug treatment. He
prescribed 45mg of Carbimazole once daily initially, but this was
reduced to a maintenance dose of 15mg Carbimazole within a few weeks, with
a brief trial of 10mg which was too little.
Shortly after diagnosis I moved to the Bracknell area to work for the
UK Meteorological Office. I was fairly stable on 15mg daily of
Carbimazole, and managed exclusively by my GP. Moving house later I
switched GP, on my first appointment I mentioned the words “Graves’
disease”, and he immediately referred me as an outpatient to the local
hospital, later I was to learn that this is the NHS recommended
procedure, and that I should probably have been referred on diagnosis
(or earlier would have been good as well).
The consultant I saw was Dr Scott at Heatherwood hospital, his care,
and his teams rigorous approach I took to be the normal for managing
Graves’ disease. He made sure to see me on every visit, even if my
appointment was with a junior member of his team, he explained the
origin and causes of my disease (in what I thought as more detail, and
definitely more repetition than I needed). Each doctor on the team
would do the same tests, or have the nurses do them, blood pressure,
reflexes, tremor, palpitation of goitre (gentle feeling of the goitre
to establish size and texture – some don’t recommend it as a procedure
as it has led to thyroid storm, however his team were experienced, and
very gentle).
Surgery – Subtotal Thyroidectomy
Dr Scott, after much deliberation, and patience watching,
recommended a subtotal thyroidectomy, as it was clear I was not likely
to achieve remission on the protocol in use. Looking back I’m not sure
if this was the right move, but Doctor Scott had weight it carefully,
and I had (and still have) great confidence in his judgement.
Surgery had me nervous. Barring outpatients appointments, and
visiting, my only previous experience of hospitals was a broken collar
bone as a small child. Only later did I learn that the mortality rate
in thyroidectomy is now vanishingly low. Surgery was a completely pain
free experience for me, which was a surprise, especially as the
anaesthetist had gone to great lengths to explain self administered
morphine as a pain killer. The only discomfort at all was having two
neck drains removed, which were left in to keep the area free of
fluids, and even that was more just peculiar, than painful.
The anaesthetic did knock me for six, and it was over a week before I
felt completely recovered from it. The doctor wanted two weeks off, but
I was bored sitting around, and computer work isn’t exactly strenuous.
Drug Free
Following my surgery, I had the usual follow-up, the biopsy was
consistent with Graves’ disease, the surgeon explained he had removed the bulk
(seven eighths was his description) of my thyroid gland.
Thyroid tests suggested that I was borderline hypothyroid, however I
exhibited no significant symptoms, and so was not put on any
medication. I have since wondered if I would have been better advised
to have replacement hormone anyway, just to keep the numbers right, as
when I later learnt to recognise hypothyroid symptoms, I realised I was
having some minor symptoms, and to keep the thyroid remains suppressed.
I was drug free, in good health, and able to get fit again. Seemed
to me like I was cured, and I never gave Graves’ disease a second
thought.
Relapse
I was drug free for six years, but then started having “hot
flushes”, where my shirt would become completely drenched for no
obvious reason, although stress (even very mild stresses of everyday
life) would often trigger it. About 10% of Graves’ patience relapse in
the 10 years after the type of surgery I had, so despite 6 years drug
free and healthy my surgery is technically classified as a failure.
The headaches returned, and I’ve since become intolerant to
alcohol (which I’m sure is related to the hypothyroid episode).
Drug treatment proved much harder the second time around, and I
eventually switched GP’s as I realized my current GP was out of her
depth, and keeping me hypothyroid by over reliance on TSH test results.
Hypothyroid was interesting, and the experience was useful for helping
me identify symptoms, but I didn’t need to spend vast chunks of 2001
hypothyroid. For me the worst symptom was depression, I’ve never really
experienced any serious depression before, but this was unlike any mood
swings, or grief I’d had before, best described as a lack of motivation
to do anything.
Switching GP’s helped, as I was no longer over-treated. I switched
from Carbimazole to PTU a few months later due to some weird digestive
symptoms, although I now suspect I may have been going slightly hypothyroid
again.
Block and Replace
The balance achieved with PTU was still not perfect, I still had
several headache a month, sometimes more, and my sleep patterns remain
erratic, so I opted for a change. The remaining avenue short of trying something more drastic, like a second surgery, is “block and replace”. I now take 40mg Carbimazole, and 150mcg Thyroxine daily, it has resulted in more stable blood test results than previously, but I can’t say I feel a huge amount better.
The doctors are keen for me to take more exercise, but exertion
often triggers extra hyperthyroid symptoms, so I am building up slowly.
Before relapse I would jog every morning before working from home bang
on 09:00. These days I tend to get up when the need arises, and the
only thing I’m likely to try before work is breakfast and a shower.
Looking back Graves’ disease, and the other autoimmune diseases in my
family, have shaped my life, despite being free from the worst
symptoms, such as Thyroid Eye Disease.
The failure to diagnose had a bad effect on my University career, I
had always intended to go into scientific research, but in my
discipline you need a first class degree. The relapse hit just before
the start of a demanding but lucrative contract, which I had to abandon
early, and the mistreatment made working in 2001 practically
impossible. It also takes it’s toll on relationships, who wants friend
who are moody, or sweaty, or ill much of the time? Well some people do.
Although my initial treatment was quite successful, and competent,
my experience since have led me to learn a lot about Graves’ disease, and to
recognise that the standards of care provided on the NHS, and elsewhere,
for this disease are very variable.
Hey everyone,
This is a fab site thank you Simon! I’ve suffered with symptoms of hyperthyroidism since 2005, finally diagnosed with Graves in May 2007 when my T4 was off the scale and I had a massive goiter, i was 27. How did no one notice my neck swelling?! I can’t begin to tell you how sick I was both physically and mentally but some of you have probably felt the same. I spent well over 3 years on carbimazole and beta blockers whilst my thyroid continued to try and finish me off! My mind and body were shutting down and no one but me seemed to be concerned.
I was utterly petrified of surgery and get Keloid scarring which isn’t something I wanted on my neck! I had also developed chronic anxiety and bi-polar disorder due to Graves, so i finally opted for RAI in Dec 2010. The end was in sight….right??
In the 18+months since RAI Ive been stable and as yet never hypothyroid. However I still have all the mental symptoms, which I’m told I’m stuck with, I still and will probably always get chronic Graves symptoms when I get a mild virus even though my T3, T4 remain within normal limits so far!
I haven’t felt normal once since this all began and if I’m honest I can’t see myself feeling well ever again. Now my adrenals are slowly but surely giving up and I’m pretty sure its due to the damage caused by thyrotoxicosis, doctors tell me it’s not the case but they’ve been wrong about most things until this point!
I can’t stress enough to those newly diagnosed how important it is to be in tune with your body, NEVER ignore new symptoms and don’t let anyone tell you you’re ok when you know you’re not! Graves has altered my whole personality and changed me forever, I didn’t see it coming and I can’t see it going!
Good luck on your thyroid journeys people!
Please read my next comment below, it might be of help[. You can and will feel normal again. I caught mine early but still felt VERY bad, physically and mentally, plus I ahve two small kids and was struggling with them – just very tired all the time. Anyway I feel so much better now,a nd as happy inside as I was before – you can and will get better. Just read as much as you can, try making dietary changes, and keep positive. Youc an beat this!!!
It’s amazing how slowly Grave’s developes. For a long time (I’m talking at least 10 years) I’ve had a fast metabolism – Going out Saturday night clubbing, coming home 2am(ish) in a stupor, only to bounce out of bed at 7am fresh as a daisy. Then August last year I had to see my GP. In 3 months I had dropped from 80kilos to 52 (but I was eating everything I saw), had really bad aches in my shoulders and upper arms, irregular sleep patterns, and boy was I sweating.
When I saw my GP she looked at the blood tests from my MOT (I’m 45) and told me straight I was hyper (strange they never called me back after the tests, the results for the thyroid hormones were sky high, I saw them lit up red on her computer screen).
Was prescribed 15mg Carbimazole for the first 2months, which was then upped to 20mg.
First mention of Grave’s was after a referal to the Outpatients department. The Doc explained they would keep me on the carbimazole til my blood tests are near normal then RAI.
Now, a year after the original diagnosis I’m actually starting to feel better, though I stall have most of the symptoms (the aches are gone at least). I have a goiter, though not so bad that people who’ve never met me will notice, my weight is back up there and my appetite is normal.
Things I will be bringing up at my next appointment include the fact that I have no energy anymore, and everything tastes so salty it actually burns my mouth (even mars bars). I hope these are symptoms of something else (maybe a sinus infection).
Who knows what the future will bring, but I wish you Simon, and Kelly, and all other Grave’s ‘victims’ a long and fruitful future
Thank you for taking the time to put your experiences of graves disease online I have just been diagnosed and needed to read someone’s personal experience rather than text book printed leaflets off the Dr. an honest and informative insight into the ups and downs of treatments available including the after story of surgery.
Hi Everyone!
I wrote on here previously when I was feeling pretty rubbish… that has now changed because of various lifestyle changes I’ve made. In brief, I was diagnosed with Graves 2 years ago, and I’ve been up and down since then. This Summer I became hyper again whilst on the tablets, after a course of antibiotics, and that’s when I thought I need to get a handle on everything…. so, I’ve now given up wheat/gluten, dairy, caffeine, and started taking ginseng, motherwort/bugleweed, eating heaps of brazil nuts, chai seeds and fresh fruit and veg as much as poss, more water, acidophilus, a good multi vit and trying to realx more, and my god I feel soooooooooo much better. I bought a good book – a holistic remedy for Graves book, I forget the title but can look it up if you are interested. I am sleeping again, I feel happy and positive, I just feel BETTER. I still take my carbimazole like a good girl but hopefully I’ll be able to cut it down soon (with advice from doc)….basically I’m trying to treat the whole body, not just the thyroid as the docs want to do. One weird thing – my thumb nails were growing in a really odd, bumpy ridgy way (very ugly) and have been doing for a few years – basically since I started getting sick – and since my radical dietary changes (6 weeks now) the nails have started to grow perfectly smooth – so imagine what’s going on in the inside of my body. Excellent. Good luck everyone, and I can really recommend this type of treatment.
Emma
Please Emma can you tell us the name of the book you mentionned please? I discovered my grave disease one year ago, My blood test are better except the antibody but I feel so depressive, lack of motivation…I don’t know what to do. I don’t want to take prozac but don’t want to be like this no longer! Thanks if you can give me an answer and thanks for this usefull blog Simon.:)
Hi Emma,
Please can you let me know the name of the book. Have twins of 9 and feel I am failing them as Graves is really controlling my life!
Thanks
Di
Hi,about two weeks ago i went to the doctors for something to help my progressive insomnia,not sleeping for days in a row up at night walking the house,i also described trembling,feeling hot,and sweaty eye swelling and aching ,irregular periods.
Being 43 i thought it was peri menopause,i hav’nt felt myself since christmas having suffered a month of an ulcerative colitis attack, and again at easter losing over a stone in weight.
Normally i can eat anything i like without putting any weight on at all.A lot of the symptoms of ulcerative colitis are similar to some of thyroid disease.
Any way at the doctors they suggested i have blood tests for my thyroid and a few days later having spent all morning at Heatherwood Hospital Ascot (weird huh i come from Bracknell too and remember the met office demolished now)for a fractured elbow,got home to a call from doctors asking me to come in urgently.I saw the doctor that afternoon,she took my blood pressure and listened to my heart and said “have you not noticed how hard and fast your heart was racing? ,your blood pressure is high”your tests have come back that you have quite a problem with your thyroid,we shall recommend you to an endocrinologist put you on beta blockers and 5mg of carbimazole (sounds low to me?) a day.
i have to say the trembling seems a lot better already but still not sleeping well,i have one more day left of tamazipan and am saving it untill i can,t bear it.Still quite hot and sweaty,still my same nervous energy kind of self,with added benefit of a sore elbow.
It seems i must be collecting auto immune diseases like stamps and am interested to hear what the specialist has to say but don’t see him till 1st November 2012.Wonder if i get the same guy as simon although i am going to king edwards in windsor.
I would be interested to know what the other auto immune diseases there were in your family as you touched on them in the biography but did,nt go into detail.
I found this very enlightening, and would like to thank you from one Bracknalian to another(once).
I’m so glad that there is a page like this! I just have a question that I’m hoping to ask other sufferers of Graves..
For background I was diagnosed about 2 months ago but looking back now Ive probably had it for 3 years.. I also have celiac disease which I’m told is related…
So I have all of the expected symptoms, the tremors, fast heart rate, shortness of breathe, heat intolerance etc but I’ve noticed another more disturbing synptopm and I wonder if it may be related to the graves disease or something entirely different..
I have what I call like periods throughout the day (maybe an hour to 2 hours at a time) where I’m really confused and forgetful.. Things that I do everyday I can’t do and I get confused by. Songs that I have sung for years I forget the lyrics etc so it’s really worrying.. But as soon as I can snap into one I can snap out of it and it doesn’t happen by anything that I do or don’t do. Anyone that has had anything similar I’d really like to know so I can do something about it!!
Sounds like “Brain fog… ”
It is a common symptom. It is most common with hypothyroidism. Of course it could be something else, but it sounds fairly typical of a thyroid patient.
If you are on medication, and this is a new symptom or occurring more often, this is probably a sign the medication needs reducing. If you think it could be due to overmedication speak to the doctor ASAP.
It is very common a few weeks or months over starting antithyroid drugs to need to reduce the dose and fiddle around to find the dose that works for you.
When I was over medicated I was sent to the see the endocrinologist but couldn’t even recall his name, or my GPs, when I got to the hospital reception desk – embarrassing but probably par for the thyroid clinic.
Hi My name is Suzie I’m 41 years old ,8 years ago I had my son by emergency c section ,my blood pressure dropped really low …this was the start of my long journey…….
six weeks later I was really really tired ,whole body ached ,would go to bed at 7pm and would be on the phone to my hubby if he was late ,would get ulcers all over my tongue,weight gain ,sore throats,my face and hand would swell up {moon face }was told it was because I was a new mum ,this went on for 3 years I would often be in tears at the gp , I’m sure they felt like was mad I was walking miles -still gaining weight i would say things like say i wanted to say dog i would say something completely irrelevant but would begin with the same letter ,anyway i found a lump on my throat ,was sent for thyroid test came back normal had fine needle test in my lumps on my neck #{goiters} also had stress test went undiagnosed for a whole year{ felt so ill contemplated suicide on more than one occasion, saw a diff consultant ,my putridity gland not working had brain scan , and was told I had secondary thyroidism was on thyroxine for about 4 years my levels were slowly creeping up . I was getting chest pains and had now got breathless going up two flights of stairs ,this went on for 9 months ,was taken off thyroxine { did not feel any better or worse & I think that is strange ,so my consultant said my body has mended its self { even though I was told it was for life }had ultrasound test on heart,treadmill test 24 hour heart monitor , my heart rate is fast is all they can say ,they don’t know why ,heart man took me off thyroxine for 3 months and for one month I got hospital dates mixed up forgot birthdays and dates in general ,so went back on thyroxine ,consultant said doesn’t happen with my levels so come off meds again ?
had more chest pain went to diff gp done t4 t3 test it was very high, hospital called him to take me off my thyroxine {i’ve not had any since July }so did another blood test still as high now I’m told I’m over-active and on 10 mg carbimazole a day ,started10th sep 12 I have bad head aches and my eye sockets just hurt , I don’t see my thyroid man to the end of oct ,so don’t know the proper diagnosis ,i feel like its all starting again have now been told i have a fatty liver is this from the meds?and they have found something on the ultrasound so now have to have ct scan ,still getting chest pain ,only out of breath now on a incline,
do they ever get it right ?
Have just come back from hospital had a long chat with consultant he has never come across some one having secondary hyperthyroidism then getting well then going over. Hypo it’s not graves or hashitoxicosis as blood came back negative he’s going to do a case study on me as there has only been one other case in 1978 he said I will make him famous.hopefully I may get some answers ? Feeling very down and can’t believe I have to live with chest pains feeling hypo then being so tired after 9 years the light at the end of the tunnel seems to move father away as I move towards it.he has told me to eat iodine .and there in no truth in soya mucking up thyroid meds ………
Wow! That’s interesting and thank you. I will definately speak to my endocrinologist right away. I was on a lower dose (10mg) and it wasn’t working so they put me up to 15mg so that definately could be it! Thanks again for your help this is now my new favourite site!
HI just an update.I had to come off the carbimazone as I was feeling really ill.they change meds and my levels are still riseing now on 200mg a day .still have chest pains and am out of breath.go from being full of energy one day then days of feeling tired .got hospital tomorrow so we shall see if leavels have gone up .im gluten free and have read that soy makes tyroid worse.also not to eat cabbage, grapefruit or take meds with tea ,coffee , or orange juice that’s fortified with calcium.
Will let you know if I get any answers tomorrow
Yep, the brain fog!! Sounds very familiar to me. It was the worst when I was overmedicated (hypo). I’m still forgetting a lot, so I write everything down, but it’s already much better. Once you find the right dose it’ll improve.
How long we’re you over medicated for and how long has it been since that you’re still forgetting things?
I have started to write things down but I sometimes for get to do that!
I started forgetting things about 2 months before I was diagnosed (mid March 2012) and it got worse when I was overmedicated (August 2012). I was overmedicated for a month I think. Since 3 weeks my head is clearer and I remember more.
Hi everyone
I have had graves for 20 plus years. For the past 7 years my eyes have started to bulge and since I live in the USA and don’t have insurance it sucks. When I was in Britain visiting I ended up in ER with a corneal abrasion. The eye doc said he could do surgery and discuss options for my eye disease. I am a UK citizen. Has anyone had eye surgery here? If so how did it turn out?
Tought i was going mad great site i have been on neomerzacol 15mg a day cant get the weight down with graves getting married in dec 12 any advice
Hi,
I have recently been diagnosed with Graves’ disease and Graves opt allopathy. I have been up and down going to the doctors. I am 45yrs but look like am16. I was started on 20mg of Carbimazol, then reduced to 15mg and am on 10mg. I have 80percent of my hair. Affected my finger nails. I was leaking like a tap last, had to the doctors for some medicine . My left eye has been affected . It throbbing as am writing this text. I could go on and on. My next appointment is next month to see my endocrinologist.
Hi all …i had graves in 2009 never heard of it before and think i must of had it for a while before being diagnosed . I went to the docs cos i had a missed period for two months i got blood tests taken and then referred to the hospital. I was on carbimazole 20mg and beta blockers for my heart rate. I found this help with my t levels but personally i went thro hell it got so bad i would not leave the house eventually i went four days without any sleep. All i did was pace the floor 24/7 a doctor had to be called out and i was given diazepam i was only meant to have one but took three so i could shut my eyes and get a sleep . I felt my life was over . Until one day i was so sick and fed up of feeling so bad that i decided to help myself i changed my diet stopped smoking went back to work i was determined this wasn’t going to ruin anymore of my life . I built up my confidence and self esteem learned to relax through deep breathing and told myself i am going to get better. Well it worked the doctor started reducing my dose and i just felt better and better until i was completely in remission. My life changed i got a new job a fantastic boyfriend and loved living again . Well two weeks ago bloods checked and im afraid it has returned altho this time i recognised the symptoms and i requested the blood tests. Im not scared this time and determined i will get thro it there is light at the end of the tunnel ive been there before and will return there again . I say to any one diagnosed with this condition to take back control of your body and fight it with positive attitude and determination.
Louise you’re absolutely right. It’s very easy to get stuck in your own little pity party and things just get worse and worse. Good on you and good luck! I’m afraid I’m not that lucky.. My graves is actually getting worse every time I get blood work done. Trying to stay positive so thanks for sharing that
Hi everyone. So glad to have found this website has been really helpful thanks!
My boyfriend was diagnosed with Graves disease over 2 years ago and after a long drawn out process and 3 treatents with radioactive iodine he is now officially borderline hypothyroid. We are now just waiting to get his heart sorted out as he had atrial fibrillation as a result of Graves aswell. My question is this-has anyone else experienced a complete lack of libido as a result of RAI and if so has anyone found a successful treatment. It is very hard to talk to my partner about this as i dont want to add any extra pressure on him but I really am desperate to get oyr relationship back on track in that area so we can start a family at some point. Thanks for reading x
Hi, I was told I had graves this summer. I’m on the paleo diet and have managed to reduce my Carbimazole from 20 mg to 10 mg. I do need to get my blood rechecked as I have been stressed. So I may need to get advice on my meds maybe they need to be 15 mg.
i realized I was loosing weight at 17 but didn’t think anything of it.. I was 110 and I was around 100 for about 14 yrs..I went to doctors for other things but they weren’t conserned with the weight..i got preg with my son 2008 and my weight was 97 lbs and the ob didn’t check y I was small..in 2009 was 124 when I had my son…my weight was 110 for awhile then got preg with my daughter in 2011 and was 93 lbs…went to see a new ob and she saw I was very small so she ordered blood test for my thyroid and came back and went to see a thyroid doctor…he said I had hyperthyriodusim..and if I waited any longer wouldn’t of been good…I was diagnosed with graves disease…so he put me on thyroid meds for when ur preg safe meds..i was 140 when I had my daughter oct 2011…was put on methimazole and almost a year..i get my blood work done every 6 weeks the this past jan 2013 I went in and got my results and I am in remission…ck again in 6 months..my appatite has increase…waiting for my hair to stop fallin out…